You probably don’t think of yourself as a competitive person.
You don’t play sports. You’re not chasing a corporate promotion. You don’t feel the need to “win” at everything. You prefer cooperation over competition.
But what if I told you that you’ve been competing this entire time—whether you realize it or not?
Competition At Work
You may not think you’re competing at work—especially if it’s a job you dislike, where more hours or a promotion are the last things you want. But from the moment you step through the doors, you’re already engaged in competition.
• The Competition for Hours:
Even if you’re not actively fighting for more hours, you’re still competing for the right hours—the shifts that best fit your life and schedule. You’re also competing for favor with your boss, as that favor directly influences who gets the most desirable shifts.
• The Competition for Time Off:
Need time off? So does everyone else. You’re competing with co-workers for limited availability, balancing your needs with theirs while your employer decides whose request takes priority. And here, we see why the competition for your boss’s favor matters.
• The Competition for Pay:
You want a raise. Your employer wants to keep costs low. Even if you’re not actively pushing for higher wages, the act of working itself is a negotiation—one where you’re constantly competing to justify higher pay while your employer looks for ways to cut labor costs.
Work isn’t just about clocking in and out. Whether you realize it or not, every aspect of your job is shaped by competition.
Competition in Relationships
Whether familial, friendly, or romantic, every relationship is influenced by subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) competition.
• Familial Competition:
Even within your own family, competition is always present. Maybe you’re trying to convince someone else to do the nightly dishes. Maybe the whole family is gathered for game night, each person quietly strategizing to win. This type of competition isn’t adversarial—it’s often lighthearted, playful, and even a source of enjoyment.
• Friendly Competition:
Even among close friends, competition shapes every interaction. You and your friends decide to go out for the night. From the moment the idea is proposed, competing preferences influence the outcome. Should you see a movie—and if so, which one? Should you eat first—and if so, where? Do you cap off the night with a couple of drinks—and if so, at which bar? Even in moments of relaxation, competition quietly steers every decision.
• Romantic Competition:
Romantic competition among singles is well known, but what about in long-term relationships? Even in a happy, committed relationship, competition still exists. You compete for your partner’s time and attention against their work schedule, personal hobbies, and mood. Even something as simple as “What should we have for dinner?” becomes a negotiation—balancing cravings, accessibility, cost, and compromise.
Still think you’re not competitive? Or that you’re not engaged in competition every single day?
Before we continue, let’s take a simple, mundane trip to the grocery store.
A Boring, Non-Competitive Trip to the Grocery Store
You don’t feel like going grocery shopping today, but you’re out of options. The rest of the week is packed with work, so it has to happen now. You scribble down a shopping list—or something that vaguely resembles one—get in your car, and head to the store.
Surely, of all things, a simple trip to the grocery store isn’t competitive… right?
• The Parking Lot:
Before you even step inside, the competition has already begun. You drive around, scanning for a spot that isn’t on the far side of the lot. You’d rather not add a five-minute walk to a trip you didn’t want to make in the first place. But you’re not alone—three other cars are circling, all searching for the same thing.
• Choosing a Shopping Cart:
Sometimes you get lucky and grab a cart that doesn’t have two off-balance wheels and a third that refuses to turn. If you’re unlucky, you find yourself in an unspoken contest with other shoppers, searching for the least dysfunctional cart in the lineup. You settle on one that seems passable—only to discover, as you roll into the store, that its wheels scream at an ungodly ninety decibels.
• Re-checking the Shopping List:
As you scan your list, reality sets in. You’re not just shopping—you’re competing. Not against another person, but against your own budget. You need to make a week’s pay stretch into two weeks’ worth of meals. Every item becomes a trade-off in the ongoing battle between cost and value.
• The First Aisle:
As you stroll into the first aisle, you’re surrounded by the results of fierce competition. The items on the shelves may look randomly placed, but their positioning is anything but. Every product is the result of a bidding war—companies competing for the best shelf space, knowing that eye level means survival and bottom shelf means being ignored.
• The Price of Goods:
Even the numbers on the price tags are a battleground. Companies ruthlessly undercut one another, adjusting prices to sway consumers, crush competitors, and dominate market share. And you? You’re caught in this game too, trying to balance cost, nutrition, shelf life, and quantity—playing the endless game of getting the best value for your money.
• Checkout:
You wheel your obnoxiously loud cart to self-checkout, relieved that the hard part is over—only to face one last round of competition.
You struggle with the plastic bags that refuse to separate, rubbing them between your fingers, silently cursing the manufacturer who prioritized low-cost production over user experience. Another competition—this time between their desire to keep costs low and your experience with the product.
Then come the decisions—another form of competition. Enter a quantity—three limes or the actual four you have? Select organic or non-organic—do you take the cheaper option even if the product is technically organic? And finally, the last question: the donation prompt. Do you donate to the charity at checkout, or do you keep the last dollar in your checking account?
A simple, boring trip to the grocery store—yet every step was shaped by competition.
If something as ordinary as grocery shopping is competitive, what does that mean for everything else in life? More importantly, why is competition so universal?
Because competition isn’t the cause—it’s a symptom. A symptom of something much deeper. A force that not only explains why competition is everywhere but why everything in life unfolds the way it does.
This is why I wrote The Reason for Everything—to reveal the true driving force that explains competition, behavior, change—everything.
This isn’t just about learning something new. It’s about seeing something that has always been there. And once you understand it, you can control it.
If you’re ready to uncover the driving force that shapes competition, your habits, your relationships, and life itself, then The Reason for Everything was written for you.
Continue your journey here:
👉 The Reason for Everything on Amazon